Last week, I started using the Spark Kit by Danielle LaPorte and I wrote about being super energized into action. Since then, I think my energies have slowed down from feeling propelled to do/make/be into figuring out the why behind it all. For some reason, that has been a popular topic on some other blogs that I frequent. It seems like this is the perfect season to get my full intentions for this business and other areas of my life better sorted out.
In the Spark Kit, Danielle asks that you do a past purge, where you list every business mistake you feel you’ve made. Every single one. Let it all out and let it sit on the paper, ink still wet. I also took the time to list all the things I mentally blame myself for. Things that are generally beyond my power to control, but I still allow it to suck my energy. Even if I don’t constantly think about it. Just knowing that it is there, somewhere, swimming around in my brain.
The next step is to pick your top 3 biggest mess ups and list the following:
Your best screw up
Pattern you’ve noticed
When I did that, it really actually made me feel better about letting go of crap because I realized the issues I picked are ones that require conscious character readjustment. They are ones I have historically struggled with personally then get serious about and stop, only to have it manifest itself in some other area of my life without fully realizing it. This time, it entered my business mindset.
Coincidentally, I was reading Amy’s (Angry Chicken) last post after I finished that worksheet and she was talking about one of the exact same issues I deal with emotionally. She spoke about feeling honestly good for a friend of hers after hearing good news about that friend:
“I had to admit, I don’t always feel that way about all the successes of others. Sometimes I feel sensitive, hyper-critical, and prone to comparing and all that.”
“I don’t think anything horrible about that person, but it gets me going, feeling like I need to do more—read more, create more, utilize more of my potential, or something like that. It’s not just online either, it comes up with so many things in life. The constant need I have to improve. To be goal oriented. It’s a slippery slope and so very detrimental to my creativity and overall contentment.”
Amy then goes on to say how she started to declare “good for them!” every time she heard good news for people and how it released her to just be who she is without feeling pressure because of their success. It’s funny that in the same way the internet can make you feel like you know people after reading their blog but never interacting with them, the online small business world can make you feel like you have to be ahead of everyone who seems like an overnight success.
Or you have to be an overnight success.
I know I’ve struggled with that.
I have read personal blogs for years and then one day the author says “I just decided to whip up this jewelry real quick. I hope you like it” and they are an overnight success. I know I’ve felt like that isn’t fair, but what was I really complaining about? It isn’t about those people as much as it was about me. Me feeling like I just don’t have it, when I know I do. I allowed those temporary feelings to take root. When I did the purge exercise, it lead me to one of those conclusions. Then Amy echoed it. It is perfectly fine, great even, to feel good for the success of others. It also should have no affect on how you proceed in business and in life.
Recently, I was chatting with a girlfriend of mine and she asked me how I was doing. I replied with “I am exceptional!” I decided in that moment that one of my goals is to try as much as possible to feel exceptional. It is a wonderful feeling. Then it got me to thinking about the other posts I’d been reading online about the WHY of your business.
In the next post, I’ll dive down into the WHY.
I just noticed this is shaping up to be one extremely long post.