Here are 10 things that make Femi
exceedingly happy:

1. Time I’m thankful for the ticking of the clock. That no moment is forever. Great moments have to be appreciated, not so great ones don’t have to feared.

2. Friends The past few years have shown me that I have a lot of amazing friends. At my worst, I can count on two hands the people that I can call at any time for help, support, and comfort. I’m a lucky woman.

3. Laughter I see humour in almost everything. I laugh hard. I’m a throw my head back, roll around on the floor, laugh til I can’t breathe kind of person. Laughter has saved my life many times, and other people’s a few times too!

4. My sight A few months ago I caught the most beautiful sunset and I thanked God for my sight. I realised then that I don’t do it enough. It’s very easy to take it for granted, but now if I see something wonderful I feel grateful for it, and also my ability to see it.

5. My heart Hearts work so hard. When I’m tired I get to sleep, but my heart never sleeps. Even when I’m in a world of dreaming it keeps working so that I can rejoin this world of dreams when I wake. I try to be good to my heart, just to show my appreciation for its work ethic.

6. Transport I’m a traveller. I love to walk, and I’m thankful for the use of my legs, but I’m also indebted to planes, trains, and automobiles. My life has been enriched by my international journeys; the people I’ve met, the places I’ve been to, the things I’ve seen, it is so much a part of me. When traveling around London I prefer the bus to the Tube, because I like to see how the areas, streets, and spaces connect. But for national and European journeys I am definitely partial to an overground train.

7. Music I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t love music. I’m into lots of different things, but the 50s-70s is my favourite era, and I am a real Stax head. I like my music honest, I like my singers imperfect, and I like the volume up high.

8. Writing Since I wrote my first song, aged seven, I have used writing to keep me sane. I write and perform flash fiction now, and even after being a creative writer of some kind for 23 years, I am always learning something about myself through the work I produce. I’m thankful for the power in that process.

9. People who do what they were put here to do I get so much joy and comfort from other people who have been brave enough to share their talents with the world. Who would I be if Otis Redding never sang in front of anybody? Who would I be if Adam Phillips didn’t share his thoughts? Who would I be if Jean-Dominique Bauby didn’t persevere? Who would I be without The Cosby Show, or Ashes and Snow, or Ray Lamontagne, or my favourite Chris Rock joke? People should never underestimate the power of the gifts they have. Countless people have helped me, and they might not ever know it, but I needed it.

10. My mother I don’t know what I’d do without her; I’m hoping she’s immortal, because I have no interest in ever finding out.

See previous happy lists.

What’s making you incredibly happy/excited/thankful???
If you want to want to send me your happy list, email me at helloATlelephantroseDOTnet and I’ll post it up.

I only put up some of my personal goals for growth and expansion yesterday in my hello, 30 post and today I’m kicking it off properly!

In preparation of starting this new decade peacefully, I downloaded a bunch of chants and meditation music to help get me centered a few weeks back.  By chance, my friend posted about the Chopra Center’s 21-day meditation challenge. It started officially yesterday but I just signed up today and did my first meditation, led by Deepak Chopra, and I already feel lifted out the the funky mood I woke up in today.

I’m a firm believer that our emotions are connected to our physical state. I intentionally spend my time trying to be in a state of joy and happiness and I am always thankful and humble but I do struggle with jealousy, resentment, disappointment, anxiety, you name it. I’m human. Our energy is extremely valuable and it is up to us to channel that energy for good. Good is our core and I know through meditation, I’ll learn to let go of the ego and nurture the good.

I used to meditate years ago, but I’m super rusty. I definitely felt like a beginner as I listened and tried to concentrate on my breath–and I think that says a lot to how off-centered I am internally. I need to get back to that quiet place again. If you’ve never meditated before, sign up for this challenge! It takes less than 20 minutes each day. This might even embolden me to make meditation a daily ritual instead of weekly.

I’ll talk more about my journey with this challenge as time goes on. I’m really excited about it. Please join in and if you do, let me know in the comments section. There is power in numbers.

I’m going to try spending more time talking about living here since I don’t think I’ve done such a great job at recording my experiences so far. Dingen is Dutch for things.

I was asked not too long ago to contribute my stories of expat living to Parlour Magazine. This is awesome for multiple reasons, but mainly because I get to exercise my writing muscles in article format. I’m serious about making this year more rounded with as many writing opportunities as possible. It was my initial intention to talk about my transition into this country, culture, new crazy life on my blog, but I didn’t know what exactly to chat about. That’s changing, though. I suppose I needed a bunch of experiences before I could properly document any of it.

Although I am an expat, I don’t think I’ve really wanted to be included in that circle based off of personal observations: They are usually strange socially and you can tell they were the wallflowers back home that blossom abroad and turn their Americanisms into a fetish. One thing I have been and still am prisoner to is constant comparison. I think it’s in my reluctancy to be an expat. Maybe I think of myself as different because I have US-UK dual citizenship so I rather not be lumped into that category. But however we wear our garments, they are all still the same: expat. I’ve immigrated from New York. Deal with it. That last bit is for me, not you.

The first thing I’ll talk about is navigating Amsterdam. This is good for both visitors and recent transplants, if you’re anything like me and have fairly poor directional skills. I’m notorious for getting lost. I was born and raised in New York and it took me a very long time to get some mental tricks in place so that I’d stop being so terribly lost. Then the invention of mobile directions lessened being lost tremendously.

Then I move to Holland.

Paul Auster wrote a novel where the main character reminisced on being in Amsterdam by stating it was something like a never-ending maze. Every corner looks exactly the same. You are in a state of being perpetually lost. Being lost in my own hometown, I was only terrified of Amsterdam until after moving here. There’s a big difference in being lost at home and in a foreign land. Last night I mentioned to Dennis that I finally feel like I can get around on my own fairly well, having escorted friends Lesley and Lori around town on my own last week then instinctively giving a man directions Saturday and being correct.

I don’t have the tram system down to a tee yet because there are a million tram lines, but I definitely know enough to get around unaccompanied. In fact, that’s how my journey of learning this city began. I started taking short trips in the day to close by places and tried my hardest to mark each place with some sort of landmark and also memorize the name of the street/tram stop. I’m living on prepaid phone service which means no internet outside of wifi or being at home so I would spend my time writing down exacting directions absolutely everywhere. Eventually, my trips became longer, but not that much longer. It doesn’t take particularly long to get anywhere in this country. The time it took me to leave my house in Brooklyn and get to work in the morning, I can travel from Amsterdam to Rotterdam and back. As far as real distance, NY has this place beat.

I am probably a bit backwards. I learned how to ride the trams before learning how to successfully cross the streets. This has to sound absolutely absurd, seeing that I’m a fully functioning adult. Paul Auster got it completely right: this place is a maze by foot. Every other street just about has a canal running through it. They almost all look exactly alike. You can’t use bicycles as any sort of marker; they are everywhere. Then there’s the thing about the streets not always being easy to decipher. Again, a stupid sounding comment. Obviously there’s sidewalk and street. Well, not here. It goes in this order on a regular road: sidewalk, bicycle lane, motorway, tramline, motorway, bicycle lane, sidewalk. In a lot of areas, this is all cobble stone. In places that probably have much heavier traffic, the roads are asphalt. I do love (and also vehemently hate) that they actually lay stone still. It is so charming, but nothing feels worse under your feet than perhaps, fire.

Lest we forget there are a million roundabouts and majorly heavy trafficked areas that have cars, trams, bikes, people intersecting however they can get by. I’m making it sound like madness, but it is actually a very efficient and smooth system, expect for your occasional asshole car driver trying to cut you off while you’re on a bike. My biggest complaint is that there is very little visual difference between what is sidewalk and bike lane, especially if you’re just visiting. I remember having nasty Dutchies feverishly ringing their bike bells at me and yelling to get out of the lane. But when you can’t tell that that’s what you’re in until there’s 1,000 bikes charging towards you, cut the visitor some slack. As a bike rider now, I only get annoyed when you ring your bell to warn them and they don’t move at all. That pisses me off. Dear God, am I becoming Dutch?

Just remember left right left or right left right at every single point to cross. You’ll have to look at all times. You really need to be aware here. I don’t walk with the confidence Dennis has, not yet, but I’m definitely getting there. Outside of the time consumption of writing down every single direction to get somewhere and studying the tram and train lines to no end, an app I use on my iphone that I think is pretty helpful without the need for internet is Amsterdam Transport Map. SUPER handy!